I just close my eyes and try to ignore the smoke around me… The smell is too power-full and suffocating me.. I run and hide from all of my silly, stupid even, problems.. that never let me see the real life..
Seems I have a problem.. like every other normal human. I push people away. Exactly the people I love the most. I can’t function normally while err.. LOVING and co. It’s just so awkward.. argh stupid brains.
Anyhow.. changing the subject.. I love the Danube in this time of the year.. so quiet and still alive.. Been Friday to see it.. and it was starting to melt down.. Hearing big chunks of ice hit one another.. feel the peace.. Tomorrow I’m taking the tent and moving near the Danube. 🙂
So this is winter… It makes people stick together as I could see. Made me want to call my grandparents and ask them if they are ok. People calling just to say “Hey wear a hat, it’s freezing outside!”. I think this is X-mas spirit. We all had it because of the cold weather. Made us look for warm.. warm houses.. warm souls, warm food even. Maybe I’m babbling like I always do but it’s so damn cold everywhere you go. (The pic was taken 1 hour ago, or so)
We all want this, though we don’t always admit it. Freedom.. hippie style. Some of us try to be free, but then we remind ourselves of our ordinary life. Getting lost in this stupid crap society. Trying to get to high-school at first, college afterwards.. and then get a decent job. Myeah we all know the story. People nowadays live the same life.. in series. If someone doesn’t follow the rules.. well then he’s an outlaw. A freak of nature.. might as well be an inmate cause it wouldn’t make a damn difference.
Is this what I want for me? Of course NOT. The best thing I could do is follow what I feel is right for me. So that when it all come to an end.. I’d feel that everything I’ve done was for my own peace, for my soul and body. Nothing fake. Here it comes the herd feeling that we all have. If we want to fit in we have to follow the rules and then live a life without knowing if the choices we’ve made were for us.. or for others. The thing is that no one cares about the things you do, as long as we don’t hurt them.. but we all have this stupid idea that everyone is following us.. keeps an eye on us. (the Godish idea). And this makes us take dumb decisions that will lead us through life.
I am so babbling around. The main idea is that I have absolutely no intention of following the system. Why follow it? Others are and I don’t see anyone blossoming with happiness. And I am sure not waiting for God and all it’s glory heaven to make me happy. I’ll make my own happiness.. here on Earth. Maybe I won’t find it.. but at least I’ve made my life a big crap with my own stupid retarded ideas.. and not with someone elses.. Nites [ I’ll b reading this whenever losing contact with myself ]
Well.. got a message from someone today.. this link included. It bothers me too that nowadays when I switch to cartoon-network.. I don’t get to hear Scooby’s voice, Tweety’s voice, Silvester’s, Dexter’s, Edd’s and Co.’s.. etc etc. And I think not doubling the voices.. and leaving the cartoons in English.. is a good way to make youngsters learn English. I mean it’s enough with Fox-Kids and Mini-Max.. Damn it. I thought Cartoon-Network was Romanian free. Well guess again. I’m quite sure that the petition won’t change a thing. But huh.. nothing lost trying and all.
Meh’s very down.. Damn weather. I thoght I was never gonna get to school today. So damn cold. And it’s gonna be worse. Fancy nature what can I tell. Eh but I won’t start picking up on the USA & the rest of the huge, colossal even, countries, for not slowing down the polution and other stuff like that.. neah I’m not in the mood for a political-ecological whatever discussion with my self. Neah.. I just want this semestre to end already. It feels like ages since school started.. Two more weeks to go.. and then freedome. Well not really.. I have English, Romanian langs and History olympics. Makes me wonder what the fuck am I doing in a math-info class. I have absolutely no idea.. i know i hate it.
I am sentient number six, I stand in line
I am the prototype of a benign convenience for mankind
Superior is digital, human flesh so trivial
I hate that I can’t see the one that made me
[Nevermore – Sentiend 6]
The most awesome guitars since Metallica, Venom and all it’s glory. Nevermore really kicks arse. Left me breathless when I first heard them. Somehow I thoght that metal bands had nothing more to prove. Well I was so phuckin wrong.
Na na na. Except listening to music, these days.. I’ve been busy doing nothing important. Monday, going with Flo` to LMK(high-school) in order to “teach” and present some material about drugs etc.. well no one was announced that we were coming, so we wasted time for nothing. Tuesday I had an exam on math (“teza”). Monday and Tuesday I got left offline (don’t even want to remember >:|). Wednesday.. what the phuck did I do on Wednesday?? Seems nothing fancy.. same goes with Thursday. Today I’ve been at Save the Children again.. got myself into a stupid situation :)) lame even. But then again I always get myself into trouble. Tomorrow, err i ough to go to the musical theatre with Florin.. Uhm I’m definately going. Sunday is quality time with Alina and Simona?!? Yep. Monday.. have absolutely no clue. And on Tuesday we have to go back to LMK. This time to make it right.. 🙂