Well.. Negative0 gave me this link today about some web-log bla bla. It’s more of a joke made to piss folks that have blogs etc. I think it’s a funny thing to do.. tho not very realistic. Most of the people that tend to write about their everyday life, including myself, have no other purpose other than sharing their opinions about life and co.. no matter how fucked up those are. It’s a matter of sharing yourself to the world.. and keeping something of a live journal. People have always tried to be special.. no matter what. Even those that weren’t. I’m quite glad to see people posting about personal issues because it gives a glimpse of humanity to the Internet.. makes me think we are still humans.. with flaws and frailties. Another thing we earth inhabitants have is the tendency to be sad.. feel down.. being depressed.. well shit happens you know. But then again life isn’t all about that. There are things worth living for, things that make you smile and have a fuzzy feeling inside. And I am not talking about porn. NO! Like in real life there are things that are worth paying attention to and some that aren’t worth of that. Why bother talk about the useless crap? 😆 BTW Negative0, great poem 😀 :
Life sucks… I can’t take it anymore.
I wanna bleed and die. Life sucks.
Everything is dark, black and gloomy void,
There’s only shadows, pain, suffering, agony,
hurt, misery, torture, disease, emotional distress.
I miss you, my angel. I want to feel your velvet wings
I wanna love you forever and ever for infinite eternity and
I wanna touch you down there.
Quoth the raven: “Goat-sex”.
So here I am once again. Like every other day, on my chair.. in front of my pc. Asking myself stupid questions about the world, about humans and so on. It seems there’s never an exact answer for my questions. Everytime I ask myself I get different answers. I know I am not schizofrenic, and I have no mental disease. I’m quite sure that the Einstein guy was a smart one.. when saying “everything is relative”. People change all the time. From day to day.. I know that in a 100 years I won’t be here.. it makes me sad and then I get over it, live my life as it is. Trying to improve it as I can. But after the whole fuss during the day.. I ask myself the same questions that thousand of other people have asked before. Why are we here? Why do we have to die? Why not be immortals. Where was I before I was born? Is this just another disease that atheist suffer from? Is it better for those that have a God? Is it good to live in a black light? Is it good to believe without thinking too much? What’s good and what is bad. I feel this world empty. Millions and millions of humans, and somehow we are all alone.
[ Smashing Pumpkins • For Martha ]
Last week was so boring. Except for the weekend. Though at first I thought I was gonna meet a friend of mine before going to The Netherlands for a month and something.. well it wasn’t meant to be I suppose 😐 Anyhow, he’s gone now.. well tomorrow in the morning at least.
Saturday I wasted some 6 hours to make Doctoras a damn KoRn doll(check Issues cover). He already had another one, my own work as well.. but it was so old and dirty, though washed 😀 3 years old doll. Sukey I might say. So been to deliver zE doll, babbled around, spent time with Simona afterwards. Nothing fancy really happened.
Sunday was so nice. Warm weather and aaah inviting you to go out and spend some quality time with your friends. And so I did. Went out with Florin. Walked through the city for some 3-4 hours. Sharing opinions, actually gossiping. It made me good, made me forget of my stupid little problems, and even solve some of them. So another week gone. Nothing big, nothing small.. life. BTW I can’t get rid of this song stuck in my play-list.. only song I’ve been listening since yesterday [ Hoobastank – The Reason ].
I’m not a perfect person
There’s many things I wish I didn’t do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I’ve found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you..
Happy birthday dear “little” brother! Well it’s my brother’s birthday, and if Kurt Cobain was still alive, it would’ve been his birthday 2. My brother and him have nothing in common, except the birthday. Hmm and tallish alure. That’s about it. Somehow I feel connected to the dead Kurt. Not because I am have superpowers or anything just for the things that he said. Don’t know if him he himself really believed everything that he said.. anyhows..He’s not my idol though when i was in the 7th, 8th and 9th grade i was all about Nirvana. Now.. well it’s not like it used to be. I remember my 1st Nirvana tape. Alexandra U. gaved me the Nevermind album. I recorded it on a tape. Listened to it over and over again. And then some more. Afterwards I got In Utero if I remember well (Auras made it). Then I got to buy the albums, receive them as gifts(wee wee Razvan). Grunge was me and I was grunge. Still think I am, just that i grew up, changed things, and moved on. I don’t know what’s with ’em people that celebrate the day a person died, instead of the birthday. Anyhows, buttoms ups for you Kurty.. and for my brother.
Hmm.. I never paid russian literature any attention, though I knew it had some great authors. Well Simona got me into it. She gave me a book written by Aleksandr Pushkin. Told me how interesting a short story was.. “The Queen Of Spades”. Alina also read it. So in order to share or not their impressions I had to read it too. It was short, some 60 pages that I read yesterday in breaks. It was so nice.. though at the beginning boring and without any meaning. I had a bad impression about russian authors.. because every-time I imagined them writing an unlikely picture came into my head. They writting in some rat hole tavern, everything filled up with smoke, drinking vodka.. complaining about the bad weather, and disgusted of the human nature. Some misanthropes with a spark of genius. Well it seems I was so and very wrong. I will read some more of the Pushkin guy after I’ll finish reading a classic, “Tess D`Urberville” by Thomas Hardy. I think I like Pushkin more than T.H. But I’ll wait until the end of the book to say that.
I got into the whole Valentine’s thing without my volition. I received a red rose from a friend of mine. It’s not even march yet. I can’t say I didn’t like the gesture. Anyhow… it seems my hike to see LOT isn’t happening. Or it’s going to happen only if dad takes us there.. and drives us back. “Uuuu lookie.. I brought dad to see some kewl rawkers”. Fancy, what can I say. He says that it’s not safe for 3 under aged kids to go on their own to a big city like Bucharest. This is silly.. and it makes me lose my mind. Well I have to do it his way.. or no way. Overprotective parents I have 😦